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Topic Fed up and can't see living like this forever Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By LouisaMay On 2013.01.20 19:27
Hi, I've been lurking on this forum for a while, and have decided finally to say something because I'm at the end of my rope. My husband was diagnosed with cancer at 38, and got very sick. Then he beat the cancer, and got PD! He can't work. Everyone admires him for his courage, etc. But they don't see what I see -- the viciousness of his temper, his jealousy of my work and my life outside the house, his suspicions that if I come home late or have to work odd hours that I'm up to no good. I've given him absolutely no reason to suspect me (I'm too tired to have an affair!) -- he's just so insecure. I'm working like a dog in a difficult industry, trying to keep things together for our boys. He wants a lot of sex (I hear this is medication related) and often complains that I don't spend enough time with him. He doesn't seem to understand how exhausted I am. We've tried counseling, but his health is so variable that he couldn't keep appointments. He goes to individual counseling now -- but the main message he seems to get from it (that I hear) is that I'm not doing enough for him. I'm so angry and wish I could kick him out, but can't because he's sick. I still love him, and he does a ton of work around the house despite his physical difficulties. But sometimes he just acts like such a jerk. I feel like my world is getting narrower and narrower, and I can't see spending the rest of my life like this. My own therapist wants me to consider divorce. But I don't know how I can do that to someone who's so sick. I'm afraid I'm going to die of stress long before he dies of PD. Anyone feel like this -- how do you cope?

By LOHENGR1N On 2013.01.20 23:45
LouisaMay, Hi and welcome to the forum. You might want to post this on the main caregiver part of the forum. Not many people visit this young onset. Awhile ago (couple of years?) Some caregivers on the main board wanted separate boards as they thought some of Us young onset were sticking our noses in their business and not answering what they wanted to hear, but that's a long story and ancient history as they themselves are no longer visiting the forum or posting. To placate the "war" the administrator created these three different forum classifications but just about everyone uses the main one again.

You might get more and better responses using that one. Again welcome.

By LouisaMay On 2013.01.21 00:58
Thanks, Lohengrin -- I'v