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Topic Can't have a minute to myself Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By flowers12 On 2017.01.05 23:27
I'm going out of my mind!!!! I can't have 5 minutes to my self. I only get to have about an hour or so in the mornings but then usually it's bad all day but at night it's unbearable unless he falls asleep early. Every 3 or 4 minutes he wants something, my eyes burn, blow my nose, brush my teeth, I got to pee, I don't know what I want, get me up, move me to the other chair, change the tv channel. On and on and on. If I don't jump when he calls he starts yelling and freaking out. He wants me to stay in the bedroom in the dark with him so he doesn't have to be alone. Drives me nuts to just sit in the dark. When he finally falls asleep and I think I can sneak out he wakes up within a few minutes and starts whining for me again.
Now he's starting to talk about having nothing to live for and making me feel bad for not being more sympathetic and caring. I don't want to just let him freak out because it could cause him to have a bad dementia episode.

Is this the norm? He was always independent and self sufficient and maybe now that he can't do much for himself this is how he's reacting. I don't know how to live like this. I'm so tired and discouraged. This is a lonely journey.

By moonswife On 2017.01.06 01:57
it IS lonely for us. And we understand and empathize. I guess 10 years ago with no tablet and no smart phone to rely on in the dark, we would all be lost. There are nights that only stepping out in the cold for 15 seconds will bring me out of my funk. And when I think "oh Lordy, I have to get up at 5 to get up to keep my office open (after getting up every hour during the night)", I thank the good God he is still alive, and I still own my business, and my health at 70 permits me to juggle all these balls in the air. But after 47 years of marriage it still is "in sickness and in health". Take a breath, and know we are giving you mental hugs.

By flowers12 On 2017.01.06 11:59
Thank you moonswife. Sometimes I'm half crazy with the stress and constant caretaking. I'm 70 and my hubby is 75. We have 40 years together and I love him dearly and yes, I just don't know what I'll do when he's not here to care for. We still have some good times where he can give me that beautiful big smile and it brings tears to my eyes. Like the rest of us we've been cheated out of our retirement years, we had so many plans.

You're very fortunate to be able to give some of your attention to your business. It's a mental break even though it comes with a different kind of effort. I'm off to see the doctor this morning. I'm hoping she can give me something to help my stress. I fear what would happen if I get sick.


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