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Topic Finding a caregiver Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By flowers12 On 2017.02.23 23:11
I'm teetering on the fence on how to find a caregiver. I have the name of someone from our church who is a CNA as well as his Paramedic certification. He has worked in some of the senior care homes and has worked with dementia and alzheimer patients. My dilemma is, one, is it a good idea to pay someone under the table and what would the consequences be, do I have to give him a 1099 at the end of the year? And two, he doesn't speak english clearly so would my hubby be able to understand him. Lately my hubby can't understand what I'm telling him. The other choice of course is to go thru an agency and hope for the best. Any suggestions?

By lurkingforacure On 2017.02.25 11:04
I'm grappling with this myself. I think you need to talk to an accountant with regard to hiring someone v. hiring an agency. was recommended to me by several people, but just be prepared to be inundated by responses when you post even the most general description of what you need. I had people assuring me that they wanted to work for me even though they live an hour away! It's a lot to weed through, and I realized later that you can filter the candidates, so you may want to think about the ideal person so that you can tailor your post accordingly. Good luck and keep us posted:)

By flowers12 On 2017.02.25 11:19
I asked our CPA who is a family friend. Must do background check and he said we should get Workers Comp Insurance, about $350/year for 10 hrs a week, and give the person a 1099 at the end of the year. Has anyone else handled hiring a caregiver like this? An agency would be more expensive with all the paperwork done. Even though they do all the background checks I don't think some of their people are qualified or have any training. I already had that experience once just interviewing someone. I don't want to have just anyone come in to help and oh how I wish we had some relatives that were willing to help and were close by.

By jcoff012 On 2017.02.25 14:42
We went with an agency that we found through my MIL's neurologist. There were several reasons, one was that the agency handled all the paperwork, background checks, training, etc. No 1099's or Workers' Comp from us was needed. The second reason was that they had a large pool of caregivers who were able to step in at a moment's notice---this was invaluable when the preferred caregiver got the flu! They also had such a large, well-trained staff that we were able to "test drive" four different people before finding the perfect one! This was in North Carolina, but I am sure there are other agencies in every state. Good luck! The right caregiver makes ALL the difference to the family!

By VioletV On 2017.02.26 15:01
Since it is illegal to hire someone under the table, we have opted not to do this. We pay our helpers using a service (ours is Sure Payroll, but others, I am sure are at least as good). We pay Social Security and FICA and all that. When I was growing up I remember my mom always telling us that the people who helped her deserved to have social security when they retired and that if their employers didn't pay into it, they would have nothing in their old age.

Now we also use a caregiver service. It's not cheap, but having a pool of people who know and like my husband is a real blessing.

By flowers12 On 2017.04.12 17:40
I've contacted an agency that is highly recommended by the Parkinsons Caregiver Group leader. Now what do you have the person do after the showering stuff is done? They told me they would do housework, cooking, whatever I needed help with. I would feel strange asking someone to clean the bathroom or the kitchen. My hubby usually goes to sleep after having his shower and getting cleaned up. I guess I'll just have to get comfortable with having someone here and then find things they can help me with. I'm hoping my hubby will feel comfortable enough after a while to let me leave for a few hours once in a while.

By VioletV On 2017.04.12 18:08
Flowers, it can be awkward at first to have someone doing work for you in your house. But if you remember that this can be dignified work at a job that allows the helper to take care of herself and her family, it is less uncomfortable. I grew up with a housekeeper (tho we weren't fancy people -- my mom was a teacher and my dad a mailman). My mother always stressed that we treat the women who helped us with dignity. We children always called them Mrs. and never by first names.

A caregiver can run a load of laundry, fold it and put it in sorted piles on a bed or couch to be put away. She (or he) can sweep the kitchen, load dishwasher, tidy a cupboard, wipe out the refrigerator. If you feel uncertain, just ask her to fold a load of towels. See how that goes for you. If you are planning to cook something that requires some prep ask her to chop up an onion for you and leave it in a bowl in the frig.
Our caregivers are incredibly willing, and it makes a huge difference for us. And -- an added plus. One is a young man who grew up on a farm, and he has volunteered to poop scoop the yard for me on the days when he is here. And that is a real gift!

By flowers12 On 2017.04.12 18:46
Thank you Violet for the great response. Your suggestion to start with folding towels is good to start with. I've never had a housekeeper and I don't feel good about asking someone to clean up for me. I think I will be happy to get a little help along with showering my hubby. It will take getting used to for sure.

By hotlyn On 2017.04.13 01:14
Just wanted to jump in here and say in another lifetime I worked as a personal care worker and trust me a good care giver wants to care for your loved one AND help you as much as possible. I always loved the feeling of walking away knowing I had hopefully made that households life a bit easier for a day or too. A good carer won't want to do nothing .mAsk them what do they usually do for other people , talk to them about what you are struggling with and can they help in that area.

By pinki53 On 2017.05.22 22:34
I was happy to see this topic.
I'm thinking of the future in needing - or wanting - some help. But also wondering what the person is to do while my PWP is tinkering in his man cave and doesn't need anything.
And then so often the need he has is for me to find something he has misplaced. How does a stranger in your home help in this way?
Help with the bathing and dressing is one thing. But DH keeps me constantly jumping with things I'm not sure someone else can help with.

By VioletV On 2017.05.22 23:09
I have the same problem, at times. When my husband is doing his exercises. or napping, there may not be anything obvious for her to do. Perhaps your house is in perfect shape, but mine is definitely not. I ask her to empty a cupboard and wipe down the insides. I will have her fold my husband's winter clothes and put them into the bin where I store it in the attic. (Yes, here in the northeast we are just making the switch to summer things!)

What I've learned is that I do have to do some managing of the caregivers. I've started making a list of tasks that she can do when she has down time. It's also ok with me if she reads or knits for part of her time here as long as she is available to him and freeing me to work (I write at home). Tasks include -- taking all the catalogs that come in and call the companies to take us off the mailing list. Mending small things. Grooming the dog. There are tons of things to do around my house, and maybe around yours as well.

And for him -- you can let him know that you will be busy for 20 minutes -- and that if he needs something while you are busy the caregiver will try to help, but he may have to wait. We have had to learn how to be caregivers, and they have to learn how to be care receivers.

Let us know how it goes?


By pinki53 On 2017.05.23 09:17
Thanks Violet.
I'm not at that point yet but the time may come.
I guess it's just hard to think about having someone do for me. :)

You mentioned exercises. Change of subject but I WISH my DH would do any sort of exercises. 2 main things the doctor tells him will make him feel better. Water and exercise. He drinks very little and does no exercise at all. :(

By lurkingforacure On 2017.05.23 19:05
I'll update here that I signed up for to help find a caregiver, and have been very disappointed. I messaged several potential caregivers and not one of them responded, not even to let me know they were already committed or just weren't interested.

Conversely, if you post a job, you will be absolutely inundated with responses, mostly (actually, all) from people who I would never think of hiring. They cannot spell, do not use correct grammar, have zero experience with the issues I need help with, etc.

I also received no response whatsoever to my inquiry to the help department. I know isn't responsible for whether a listed caregiver responds to a message or not, but they certainly should respond to a customer's questions directed to their help department. I can't wait to cancel when my term-thank goodness I didn't sign up for a longer term.

I know lots of people like and it was actually recommended to me, so it may work great for you. It just was a huge waste of my time and money, and there are no refunds.

By VioletV On 2017.05.24 14:12
Lurking, in my experience is hit or miss. I did hire our current housekeeper from there, but have not had success with finding PD caregivers. We ended up going with a local agency that has good people - they oversee the caregivers, pay for workman's comp (good thing, a new caregiver, 5 days on the job, gave herself a concussion on a doorknob in our bedroom -- long story!!).

BUT they are expensive. We are paying $25/hour for caregiving. Without the long term care insurance policy my husband bought 20 years ago, we could not do it.


By lurkingforacure On 2017.05.24 21:18
$25 an hour is high, but the "good" (on paper) caregivers on are almost that much and then you have to add on taxes, etc. so it probably comes out about the same as an Agency. And then you also have to pay extra for
background checks, so in some cases the agency might actually be cheaper!!

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