I have looked very hard for information on coping with the situation of caring for a dementia spouse when you still have minor kids at home too. Trying to raise kids in this situation seems (thankfully) pretty rare and there just isn't much out there, and it's a lonely place to be.
But, I found this article, and while it sums up a lot of what most of us already have learned to do to survive, it's a great resource. I really appreciated the affirmations in the article, and found it particularly comforting to read that we healthy parents must help our kids build and live their life despite the dementia. In other words, it is unhealthy for the household to revolve around caregiving and/or the dementia.
I feel like I have to choose between my sick spouse and our kids a zillion times a day, and it's a relief to read that yes, I really do need to take my kids to eat out or for a bike ride, etc. without daddy. I no longer feel guilty about leaving my husband at home when, for example, I take our son and a friend to the movies. Not only because my husband can't navigate the theater (crowds, stairs, darkness, unfamiliar bathroom too far away), but because my son needs that for his healthy development.
I see so much of what this article talks about in my own situation, especially my kids' worry about my health and well-being. I hope it it helpful and comforting to those of you here who are in the same soul-crushing dementia/raising kids boat.
Here's the link:
http://www.nicenet.ca/tools-when-dementia-is-in-the-house-advice-for-parents
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