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Topic Wandering off Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By lurkingforacure On 2018.05.16 14:42
Today for the first time ever my husband left the house while I was at the vet. I came home to find him laying in our neighbor's driveway, with our neighbor sitting beside him. He didn't appear hurt, and refused to go to the doctor or hospital (although I called his neuro and left a message later). I got him into the wheelchair we have (until now) rarely used and back into our house and his recliner, where he promptly fell asleep.

Any advice? I have to leave to take our kids places every day, school being one of them, and wonder if that is safe to do anymore. If I have to hire a sitter everytime I need to leave the house, it will be cheaper for him to be in a facility, assuming I can find one that has space and is decent.

Is this PD, or the dementia? Is it likely to occur again? I haven't done any reading on the wandering around so any advice you all have would be most appreciated:)

By VioletV On 2018.05.17 18:59
that is a very difficult crossroad, when a facility becomes the better choice. One piece of advice I was given, which turned out to be very helpful: start now, before you have to make the decision, to visit places so that you aren't forced to make the choice in a crisis situation. Some places will let you get in line (so to speak) by paying a small deposit before you need it, so that you have the choice. The down side of that is that when a place becomes available you will have to decide rather quickly.

It's not easy. But after having my husband in an excellent facility for 7 months I can say that I definitely made the decision at the right point. And now, I am free to be wife and companion, to enjoy being with him and to hand off the messy and difficult jobs to well-trained lovely people.

When it was time for me to make the decision I viewed a number of local places and then asked his family (adult daughter, hs senior daughter and his brother and sister-in-law) to help in the final selection. You may want to ask your older children to visit with you, understanding that this is "if we need it, in the future."

Good luck.


By Checkmate On 2018.05.17 19:18
Sorry to hear of this new development.
There are organizations such as Alarm Force (I live in Canada) that you can register with for a monthly fee
The PWP wears a pendant or bracelet and can press a button if they need help they also have a GPS that can track where they are. The organization will contact you and send help if needed. My husband had a pendant that only tracked him in the house but unfortunately he would rarely wear it. So I just gave up after two years of trying. However there are people that this works for.
The fee is very reasonable $38 monthly.
This may help your situation.

By VioletV On 2018.05.17 19:21
I just bought a couple of Tile devices. Never had to use them with my husband, but I had the lucky outcome of having left my wallet 3 hours away, with a Tile in it. It pinpointed my wallet in the shop where I'd left it. It was a long drive, but my wallet was intact--all money and cards. The Tile is small enough that you could put in in a pocket or in his wallet if he is inclined to always carry his wallet. Even if he doesn't use it to call for help, it will help you track him down on your cell phone.

By lurkingforacure On 2018.05.17 19:45
Thanks all, excellent advice. My husband wouldn't remember/be able to use any button to push for help, I don't think. He can't really use the remote control on his lift recliner, which one has two buttons, one for up and the other for down.

The neuro's nurse called me back. Not surprisingly, they told me that this isn't so much PD as dementia progression, and there isn't any med or anything they know of that will help. He recommended I get door alarms, which made a lot of sense when I considered that if I am asleep, or in the shower, or in the backyard, he could still leave the house and I wouldn't know even it even though I was home. I never thought of that.

So I will get the door alarms....but then realized, what if the alarm texts the alert to my cell phone, but I am 15 miles away? Not much good. So to address that, I bought two Samsung cameras that have two-way talk capability. My thought is, if I get an alert that my husband has opened a door, I can quickly talk to him on the camera (and see him) and tell him "Stop! Go sit down, I am on my way home with an Italian sub sandwich, brownies, and ice cream!!"

By Lynn03 On 2018.05.18 21:48
Dear Lurking....I love your sense of humor and your willingness to come to the rescue with that sub, brownie & ice cream. Way to conquer!! ~ Lynn.

By lurkingforacure On 2018.05.18 23:04
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do:)
Whatever works!

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