Helping Those Who Care for Parkinson's Patients
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Hello everyone, My husband is needing me to help him eat sometimes. If he is having a bad day, or time of day, he will just sit there and not touch the food, even if it is something he said he wanted. I find having to help him eat the most emotionally difficult caregiving task so far, because it affects the most basic human need, more fundamental than clothing or shelter. I have a very hard time not crying when I am helping him eat, and don't want him to see the tears because it will depress him. It's just heartbreaking. How do you manage these crushing emotions? I've been making "finger food" more often, so that he can feed himself as easily as possible and maintain this function as long as he can. Nachos, hot dogs, breakfast tacos, carrot sticks and cucumber slices instead of salad which goes everywhere. But even doing this sometimes he doesn't eat, or doesn't eat enough, and I have to help. I don't mind helping feed him, it's the tears I am having a hard time holding back. He has no idea how much I cry when I'm in another room, or my back is turned, or I'm behind him getting him dressed or wiping his butt, and I don't want him to know that because that will only add to his PD burden. But last night I couldn't hold back the tears and had to leave the dining room so he wouldn't see. I know I'm not the only person here holding back buckets of tears. How do you all manage this? |
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Lurking, you certainly have been through hard “stages” of PD. I imagine tears are a great relief to you, even if the emotional toll becomes a true burden. You NEED to vent, to cry. Please follow my oncologist’s advice: whenever life becomes too much to bear, get in the car and scream ! Just scream and let go until you are exhausted! Then sit, gather your thoughts of better days, and try to focus on a love...your kids, a passion such as art or music...and try to go to “your happy place”. Seriously...this was her advice. As is so often said here, please take care of yourself. |