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Topic Extremely angry over a text to our daughter! Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2019.10.06 15:21
Tell me this is not unusual, please. Any explanation is appreciated!

We have spent the last three months helping our daughter and her boyfriend remodel a condo. It has been seven days a week, 8-10 hours a day! That isn’t the problem...

This morning, we were headed to their condo (it is 30 min away, one way.), when I texted to our daughter “We’re on our way.” ThT is literally ALL I typed! She responded with,”See you later.Whenever you get here.” My husband, who was driving, ANGRILY screamed at me! “DON’T text about me! DON’T make decisions about what I am doing! I planned to make a few stops before we go there!” Then he ranted about not making his own decisions, not having control over his own life!

I was stunned, to say the least! I do NOT make decisions for him and neither does anyone else!

Needless to say, we arrived here and I am not speaking to him. Seems easier than fighting!

Full disclosure: After his initial outburst, *I* lost it and hollered (not screamed) back, saying, “STOP!! What is wrong with you? WHY are you making such a big deal of something so minor? And, since when is texting our daughter “talking about you or deciding what you should do?” I then shutdown, before things got worse.

By Longhardroad On 2019.10.06 16:37
He was angry because of the loss of control that Parkinson's gives him. This too shall pass. I'm impressed with the way you handled something so unexpected.

By jcoff012 On 2019.10.07 17:12
Well, that was Sunday. Sunday night we are in silence and I went upstairs to wash and dry some towels, then watched tv and went to bed. This morning, he acted as if yesterday was non-existent! Wanted to go out for breakfast, been chatty...


Don’t you just HATE this disease?!?!?!

By Lynnie2 On 2019.10.08 14:25
I know being a caregiver can be stressful. I was angry at my husband at certain times, but I think I was really stressed doing everything for him and for running the household.
Maybe you need to get out on your own for a few hours a day. I don't know if you can leave your husband though.
Do you have a friend or someone from the family that could stay with him?
Go out for lunch with a friend or go shopping and get your mind off things for a while.
I had a PSW from the Alzheimer's society stay with my husband for 6 hours one day a week and 3 hours for 2 other days a week.
It really helped.
I don't know your situation, but hopefully you can figure something out.
I know this disease takes the pleasure out of life
Things aren't the same anymore, but try to understand he doesn't want to be this way.
It must be very depressing for him to live with this disease.
Also if there is a caregiver support group in your area, I would recommend going to one.

By Pennypen On 2019.10.10 14:27
I'm surprised that you husband was driving?

By jcoff012 On 2019.10.11 21:13
About the driving...Carl is very high functioning. His driving isn’t impaired yet, although he drives too fast and too closely...but he always has!

We still live a “normal” life most days. We have our ups and downs, but he’s still able to do everything, just more slowly.

The anger is the worst part, but I try to avoid causing outbursts. The original post was heartbreakingly awful and unprovoked.

Like I said, I hate this disease!

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